I've been trying to write a Smurf parody for awhile now, just lacking in motivation. Here is where I am at:
Gargamel sits, inebriated and fuming over another failed attempt at securing revenge over the Smurfs. It's been 30 years since Papa Smurf, formerly know as General Bonecrusher of the Army for Spiritual Purity, razed Gargamel's home, raped and crucified his wife, and disemboweled his two children. The sneer of contempt through victory of Bonecrusher's visage is emblazoned on Gargamel's psyche.
"You, you will be allowed to live thanks to my infinite maganimity. Your life will serve as a reminder to all peoples who oppose the will of the one true God."
These words are the last Gargamel recalls before awaking in Castle Lonely. Out of his stupor, he gazes in the mirror at his once handsome profile, now nothing more than a pathetic shell riddled with scars and deformations procured by Bonecrusher's elite fighting force, the Peacemakers.
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