Below is Dee's piece which I chose to respond to.
"At the club I was getting bumped every move I made. I saw people from all different cultural backgrounds. While walking around I notice that every group was hanging with their own kind. The club was segregated into different circles. When I walked passed the Latinos they were dancing with spice, the African Americans was moving their big butt and hips in only a way a man can imagine, the Asians was moving in swift motions, while the European Americans were off beat. I realize how different everyone was and I love them for their differences and also their similarities. And especially on thing everyone at the culb definently had in common. We all liked to get FUCKED UP/ CHOCLATE WASTED."
Very fun read Dee! I enjoyed your exploration of commonly held beliefs about different cultures. I would definitely enjoy an expansion of this further exploring the differences between cultures. Also, your ending observing the similarities is vital to make this piece work. Consider adding further commentary about the parallels between cultures. Giving multiple instances of likeness and difference can help persuade the reader further. Keep up the good work!
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