Random Impulse- Maybe?

From one of my psychology horizon classes after a 3 hour session, I wrote it in persuasive form, but I felt like when I wrote it it had some poetic value to it. I really enjoyed Nietzsche's ability to incorporate prose and poetry into his writing, and that is something I am aspiring to at the moment. I look forward to and encourage any ideas and lines y'all think useful in poetics!


I want to post to express my pleasure with tonight’s session on mothers. I’m not a particularly gifted orator and it is usually hard for me to verbally express my thoughts in a clear way, especially when hearing other’s input on the subject (I tend to get lost in my thoughts). If my latter writings seem hubristic, I apologize; it is simply the way I was. Actually, I don’t, I want to give you a honest view of me. I thought very highly of myself.

As I stated earlier, I feel my ‘Wild Man’ is my pre-sobriety self. In high school and my first round of college, I was what I considered the quintessential male. Young, smart, affable, womanizing, skilled, well-received, and tough. I was the king, not jack, of all trades. I was able to perform extremely well at any task asked while still leading a ‘wild’ jubilee-oriented life. Coincidentally, my nickname in those days was ‘Wild West’. I oozed confidence from my various accolades in academics, athletics, service, social triumphs and scholarships.

Post-fallout, I needed a radical change. I had to throw out everything I associated with my addictive ways. I took up God and humility. I locked away, with little inventory, near all of what I was. It was necessary for me to sustain and survive. I grouped it all together. For awhile, I thought I was a ‘better’ person.

Presently, I have begun to question my whole-hearted dismissal of all of the things that made me, me. I feel I am life-preserving, but am I still life-giving? While it is hard for me to really correlate my ‘Wild Man’ with my mother possessing the keys, this discussion has really touched a spot in my current struggles, and I appreciate the words we have passed tonight. I’m beginning to think the ‘Wild Man’ I have locked away isn’t necessarily so wild, but some of him can, in fact, be embraced.